Say hello to your pet monster! I don’t meant cute-Monster’s Inc kind of monster. I mean Jurassic Park. And when you keep feeding your omnomnomnivore, it is going to get bigger and fatter and you are going to find it really hard to lug it around. It will tire you out with it’s weight and appetite.(Ok, the dinos are cute)
What would you do if your pet dino is anger? With the bonus of you being a woman! Tada! You are in BIG trouble…….
There are plenty of people , including women who might call an angry women unfeminine or use the b-word on her. Yet, when most animals higher up on the evolution ladder have been wired for this stuff, why on earth is it wrong for a woman to be angry? And even if she does why is it supposed to be expressed very softly? The emotion of anger is not designed that way. It holds an incredible amount of force in it. Suppressing that force tires us out, makes us worn out. AT a later stage of fighting and stuffing up, it quite often masks itself as fatigue & sadness.
Anger is a reaction to something that you perceive as a wrongdoing towards yourself or others.It protects you and helps you take action to change iprove a situation.You know what it feels like.It is culturally alright to express your anger/agression if you are a guy and it is supported, even encouraged. But if you are a woman, you must express your anger and convey your point without making it too apparent and/or being pushy. You must be good at the guy stuff and yet be extremely feminine. With all those confusing and contradicting messages around me, I feel like tearing out my hair and retreating to a cave. At least as a cave-woman, I can wield a club and scream and bite freely! 😀
Yeah go ahead! Be angry!
If you are thinking that I am just ranting and that yes, I am a modern woman and have the freedom to show my anger, I dare you to try it out (if you are a woman) or listen to a woman’s anger (applies to all ).
If you don’t come back feeling awkward but strangely charged up by the situation, I would congratulate you. Now, go and tell the world that it was very normal.Please. Please!!!
If you did feel awkward or you are cursing the woman in question or questioning her femininity and grace, blah, blah ,(majority of us will) , it is a bias taught to us through our socialisation.
Anger as a path to awesomeness
There have been plenty of occasions which I faced where I should have felt angry and stood up for myself and others But culturally I don’t have much support to do that. Humans, irrespective of their gender, have paved their way to greatness and betterment through acting on their anger and irritations. I have made changes in my life because I was angry. I walked away from people who were batshit crazy and held ill-will towards me. I learned new skills because the ones who knew those skills weren’t cooperative. When I was denied certain privileges as a passenger on some transport service, I used my anger-fuel to ask for it (in a nice way, after I had finished using the swear words privately). I believe many inventions happened because somebody was pissed off with having to put in extra effort or being ill-treated for doing less than expected work. Think activism! Think freedom struggles and agitations!
The angry birds fight for their eggs (and waste hours of your productive time)!! And see how successful they are! RAWR!!!
The next time you or someone else feels angry, support yourself or them to let it out in a non-destructive manner. Using your anger towards the wrong individuals/situations/things/pets is the most regrettable act you can do.
It wont be easy. I am figuring it out myself. Here are 4 basic steps:
1. Figure out if you are angry. (sometimes you are in denial)
2.Find out why you are angry (someone treated you unfairly, you misunderstood a situation, you might simply be hungry!)
3.Figure out the best possible action with everyone’s best interests in mind (difficulty level:high)
4.Take action (or you may need to just let go)
There is plenty to be angry about. So lets’ get started 😀
Love,
Appu
G(r)eek Goddess ;) 